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Apr 17, 2009

Wow. This week Lando and Cooter filled in for me, and the topics are quite exceptional. From road rage to toilet humor, this one's got it all. Enjoy!

Opening Music: "Alive WIP v2" by George Carpenter
Closing Music: "Blau.ton" by Rauschwerk

Dave (UK)
ten and a half years ago

Road rage? Five days out of seven I drive around London for my job. Five days I see arseholes in cars; arseholes on cycles; but the worst are the fuckers on two feet. I just wish involuntary manslaughter wasn\'t a crime.

Keep up with the poo jokes though.

Big Dave (OZ)
ten and a half years ago

Great show, you brought back some memories of the time some moron chased me through 4 suburbs. He was trying to push into a turning lane, like everyone else I didn\'t let him in, but I also flicked him the bird and told him to \"FUCK OFF\", he did not take this well. He chased me, and at every set of lights he jumped out of his car and threatened me. After 4 sets of lights, I got sick of this, and told him where I was going, a shopping centre car park, I knew it had CCTV surveillance. He followed me for another 3km, I thought \"fuck me, he\'s serious!\" When we got there, he jumps out of his car, rips his shirt off and storms over, I get out, he calms down really quickly, he says I really shouldn\'t have upset him, I agreed, but told him next time not to piss everybody off and try to push in, he apologized, it ends up all good, he offers to buy me a coffee. It\'s like my T-shirt says, \"It\'s always good to be the BIG DUDE\". Because the seat in my car was broken, he didn\'t realize I was considerably larger than I appeared. He was about 5\'5\" and 150, I\'m 5\'10\" and 256. Shaved head and Beard.

Lando, you\'ve got to tell us, just how big are you? Height, weight, forearm measurement and bicep. My forearms are 13inches and biceps are 16inches, but I work in a warehouse so I\'m always lifting, I\'d go nuts sitting at a desk all day long.
Cooter, you\'ve confirmed my initial impressions of you, I really did think that you would be someone who was into \"DICK books\". That comment alone had me laughing for half an hour.

Keep up the good work.

Big Dave (OZ)
ten and a half years ago

Just thought of something to go with your toilet humor, we\'ve banned truck drivers from using the toilets where I work. One guy came in, used the toilet, and left a surprise for us. It was of indeterminate length, we couldn\'t see one end of it, but it was at least 8 inches long and about an inch and a half thick, and it couldn\'t be flushed, for 3 days. No-one wanted to be the one to poke it with a stick. It was disgusting, but we still laugh about it.

ten and a half years ago

Great show guys... Love the mixture of road rage and literature. Just a note on road rage it seems it is usually the little guys that get really angry. Once i was with a mate who is a power lifter and about 6 foot 3 in height and about 280 pounds. He accidently cut a guy off turning into the main road.The guy in the other car just went ballistic even though my mate gave a sorry wave etc. The other car tailgated us and my mate pulled over to let the guy pass. The guy pulled up behind us and jumped out with a chain yelling. My mate got out and even though the other guy was only about 60 kg and bit over 5 foot he wanted to take my mate on who towered over him. My mate stayed calm and tried to calm the bloke down...The aggressor saw this as a weakness until it got to the point where my mate stating \"look or i will pick you up and ram you face first into the road...I am sorry now F... off before i kill you\" The bloke left...I think because bigger blokes know they can easily seriously hurt someone they usually avoid fights at all costs unless cornered or loved ones are harassed.