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Jan 27, 2007

This week Lando and I spend a few minutes musing on the upgrades to the site, then we dive into whether we live in a culture of fear in America. We don't exactly agree on the answer, but we both have noticed some things in this country that are worth examining. In the process, we drop quite a few movie references for a show that has nothing to do with film.

Opening Music: "Fire In The Sky" by Dave London


over thirteen years ago

I remember one horrible weekend when I wrestled with the concept of solipsism. This is the idea that \"my mind is the only mind that exists\" and all my senses are supporting the illusion that there is an external world when in fact there is not.

Physically my body responded by firing off suffocation reflexes while I looked for clues from friends that I was not alone in a dream.

A much more \"rational\" fear that has never gone away is going up a dark stairway.

I spent four years as a paratrooper in the Army, work out every night like I\'m some kind of badass and scamper up dark stairways like a little girl because I KNOW that boogerman is going to grab my ankles at the last moment...

I still have nightmares about anonymous hands reaching over handrails and grabbing me and junk.

Illusive Mind
over thirteen years ago

Sleep paralysis is one of the more frightening experiences I\\\'ve had. This is when you are asleep possibly dreaming and then kind of wake up whilst the chemicals that keep your body still during sleep are still in effect.

The result is a kind of waking nightmare where you will often have the sensation of there being a presence in the room and not being able to move or breathe. Perhaps because your body is fighting for autonomic control of your breathing you are just paralyzed and I felt like if I didn\\\'t shake myself awake I would fall asleep and suffocate.

More generally I think the most universal motivator of human behavior is the desire to look good (to others) and fear of looking bad. The good and the bad take a variety of forms for different people, in my case I always want to seem smart. So when I made a complete ass of myself in front of my class when I was twelve by getting a really obvious question wrong (who was the first president of the USA?) it was like experiencing social death.

over thirteen years ago

i\'m completely afraid of the concept of eternity.

believing in heaven or hell would drive me crazy..
the thought of never ending boredom.. geez.

i recently read the short story \"i have no mouth and i must scream\" and it freaked the heck out of me.

really great story.